Interview with HaasanDo you love your kids
by It-was-Ayame
Summary: One night I was bored. I wondered what it would be like to ask beloved Haasan a question Laur once asked me. It was late. I was sleep deprived. It sounded like a good idea at the time and BANG next thing I knew, this was written. I apologize to you all.
1. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: I actually own this charrie and co-own the story he goes to. Therefore, all rights and everything concerning him belong solely to me. Karei Asagao. Aka Kar Ala AL._** _**So there in j00r face! I don't even need this disclaimer XD mua ha ha. **(It's not against the rules to fanfic your charries is it? I mean, j00 can be a fan of your own hot bishie guy right? RIGHT! Kidding kidding.)_

This is something I came up with at 2 am while bored and going through rp withdrawal and thinking about various conversations with various people and fantasizing about new ways to antagonize poor dead Haa-san. This question Laur asked popped into mind and me being bored decided to do this long and dorky thing. If ya'll's got's any problemo with that I don't know what I can tell you - c'ept maybe- go eat those prettily colored mushrooms over there, or go suck an elf.

**Interview with Hatori Ame**-

Answering the question: _why doesn't Tori'san show affection to- or even seem to love his own offspring?_

IN a little of shade room in the bowels of the Ferewood Mansion. . .Teen with purple streaked hair sits down in a white whicker chair holding a clipboard.

Clock: _'Tick tock ... tick tock... ticktock..._.'

. Minutes drag by...

... _He's late._ Thinks the Purple haired teen interviewer to her lonesome self. _But of course, what else could I expect._ -Sigh, eye-roll- _Well I suppose I might as well make my self comfortable. I may be waiting for a while._ The teen sat back in her white wicker chair and put her feet up on the glass coffee table.

Half an hour later

A tall handsome man with black shoulder length hair and steel gray eyes strides in. There's a lock of gray/silver hair above his right eye.

The purple haired teen is fast asleep clutching her clipboard, her mouth open and catching flies.

The man smirks to himself and stalks silently towards the girl, coming up behind her. He positions his hands above her head, at the ready, and after a quick pause, brings them together in a loud _'CLAP!' _

The girl leaps up startled and disoriented. "What! What!" She spins around, only to be shoved back down in her seat.

"Sit. Make this quick. I have places I'd rather be." Say's the man.

"Of course." Sighs the girl, miffed. "And for future reference a tap on the shoulder will to the trick just fine."

The man ignores the comment and takes a seat across the table from her. He leans back in his chair looking almost bored. "So what has the great 'goddess' Kar have need to ask me? I thought you knew everything about my person. You created me after all, did you not?"

"You're a mystery even to me. . . Which I admit is sad. " replied Kar with a lopsided frown and a shrug. "I'm here to interview you. Our _-cough-imaginary-cough_- readers always have questions."

"What if I only feel up to answering one?" Hatori asked folding his arms and putting his feet up on the coffee table carelessly.

"Then I ask only one for today and come back another day." Kar answered simply. "By the way, I just wanted to say- Hatori, I'm sorry I killed you- no hard feelings right? I mean, I even miss you- and ... _almost_ even regret killing you. You're cool with that right love?"

Hatori just looked at her.

Kar: oo -gulp- "Alright... on with the questioning then, I guess." Hatori raised his chin a millimeter or so to show he was ready. "First question: Do you love you children?"

"Do I what?" Hatori looked at her with surprise.

"You're children. Do you love them?" Kar repeated.

"I heard you. I just didn't expect such an obvious question." Said Hatori. "They're mine aren't they? Why wouldn't I love them?"

"... Well... you never show them any ya know- like, _affection_, or anything. Towards them."

" '_Affection'_?" He looked puzzled.

"Yeah- 'Affection' I mean, you're all like 'you're here because I got it on with your mother one night and didn't use protection.' " Kar said.

"And...?" Hatori moved his index finger in a circular motion. " So. ..? That's exactly what happened what's your point?"

Kar stared. "0.0 didn't you want them? How can you be so nonchalant! These are your kid's we're talking about! Where's the love? -goes into south park mode- You bastard !"

"Vampire- remember? I thought I was shooting blanks." replied Hatori cooly. "Next thing I know I'm a father. A 237 year old first-time father with powerful, fast-growing super babies as kids. What was I supposed to do? Shower them with kisses? They'd have bitten my face off with their baby fangs."

Kar: thinks about it ". . . Well... yeah but-... -sigh- okay, you've got a point there. But then why didn't you do anything to you know, like bond or something with them?"

"What would I have done? They were talking by the time they were a week old, and already hunting for themselves. Both litters preferred being around Rem- flocked to her; was I supposed to take them away from their own mother? I don't know what to do with kids- they don't know what to do with me. We would have ended up having a staring contest until something distracted them and they left me in the dust to chase after that."Hatori shrugged and said simply, his hand made a careless wave in the air to emphasize this.

"But-" Kar was cut off.

"But what? Look I think I did the best I could given the circumstances, don't you think? I saw to it they got a good, well rounded education. Saw to it they were cared for. Granted I wasn't always around, but that wasn't my fault-" he cut himself off, looked up at Kar and gave her the start of a snarl. "That was your fault- your 'ingenious' plot working. I'll never forgive you for that void incident."

"Eh-heh" -_nervous laugh-_ "That's all in the past, it's done, it's gone, it's over with. Can't we just move on? . ?"

Hatori fixed her with a look.

"_Ahem_ You were, uh- saying?" Kar prompted, to bring the subject away from dangerous waters and hopefully back on target.

Hatori knew exactly what she was doing be pretended he didn't. "Well, in any case, my being gone so much when they were growing up wasn't my fault. But at least I was always around in some way/shape/form or another for them. And I always helped them whenever they came to me in a bind."

Kar gets up. "I'm really sorry- but I really, kinda need to do this."

Hatori: "oo do what?" -_shifts nervously-_

Kar: -star glazed eyes- "MUA HA HA!"

Hatori: -gulp-

Kar: Launches herself into air -_**GLOMP!-** "_ Ah, the bishie goodness!"_ -strokes petrified Haa-san- _

"What in all hells brought this on! Get off me evil creator woman!" -throws Kar off-

"T-T Aww! I couldn't help it!" Kar whined. "I've been staring at you all this time, trying to stay on topic, and you're sitting there all hot and yummy looking and you've been dead so long and all my rp friends have been busy and I'm bored and- and I HAD A LOT OF CHOCOLATE EARLIER! What'd you expect? You can't put me on sugar high and stick hot bishies in front of me and expect me not to do anything!" Kar picked herself up and started crawling towards the now greatly disturbed Haa-san. "Come on! Just one tinsy insy winsy ittle cuddle! That's all I want!"

"Like hell." Hatori backed up.

"Pleeasssee?" Kar was at his feet.

"Will it get you to knock this off? Do you promise to bring me back so I can be with Rem again?" Hatori decided to try and get something out of this. It wasn't the first time he'd used his body to get something he wanted. -looks up- What? You think we guys can't play that card either? I have no shame!

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want." Kar agreed,

"Alright." Hatori sat and opened his arms to her.

D! Kar leapt on him and snuggled into his chest. "w ah... this is more like it." Kar snuggled some more then D _mua ha ha, that's right vampire. Sit with your false sense of security. You don't suspect thing do you?_

Hatori, up till now had been letting Kar cuddle him, sitting patiently. But, at the Kar's evil plotting smirk said. "Did you forget I can read minds?"

Kar: D – 0.0 – . "**D'oh!"** "Then I better do this before you can stop me!" Kar brought her hand down on Hatori's thigh.

Hatori: OO -feels something sharp and pointy-

"Take that!" Kar had stuck him with something.

"What did you just shoot me with?" demanded Hatori.

"Specially concocted vampire truth serum!" Replied Kar triumphantly.

Hatori: -- "oh crap. "

Kar got off Hatori and returned to her seat, taking up her clipboard again. Looking quite pleased with herself. "Now I can ask you whatever question I want and you have to answer me truthfully!"

Hatori pulled the needle out of his thigh, a slight wave of euphoria swept over him as he started to feel the effects of the drug. "Aren't you supposed to administer the drug _BEFORE_ you ask the questions- not after?" asked he asked looking at Kar with an expression that said 'you are so dumb, I think that purple dye job somehow had an effect on your brain.'

Kar: Oo "Oh yeah..."

"Yeah." Hatori sighed, he started feeling sluggish and yet oddly light. Like all his cares had suddenly gone away and all he had to worry about was ... string. String? Yes string, what an interesting concept string was. He undid his right shoelace and picked it up. He tangled his fingers in the shoelace, then stared at it.

Kar stared at him funny. "Um- Hattypoo? Love? You feeling all right?"

"Don't call me that." replied Hatori sounding distant as he continued to play with the shoelace. "I should be really pissed at you."

"Eh-heh. I put you through a rather lot haven't I?" Kar was tense. Hatori unpredictable under the best circumstances, who knew what he'd do now. _Maybe I shouldn't have drugged him... without restraints..._

"Got that right." He'd read her thoughts again.

"Right Well um- mind if I ask you some more questions?" Kar attempted to change the subject.

"I'd really rather you didn't. But you're going to anyway aren't you?" Hatori made a cat's cradle with the lace.

"Yep. Pretty much."

"You know I could get around the whole truth thing by simply not saying anything right?" he went on from the cat's cradle and made numerous other more complicated intricate designs.

"You won't." Kar stated confidently.

"And how do you know that?" Man this drug was good stuff, he felt like he was on cloud nine.

"Cuz you won't think things through or censor yourself when your high."

"Say's who?"

"Says your creator who was with you at that concert where you drank from that group of stoned dudes."

"Oh yeah..." Hatori smiled. "I'd nearly forgotten about that. Good times. . .Good times. Remember that girl I did that thing to afterwards?" he laughed his quiet almost non-existent laugh.

"O.e yeah... unfortunately I do. Um, I was thinking more along the line of me asking you the questions."

"Ask away. I'm smarter than you. You won't get through." Hatori leaned back in his chair, reclining.

_**The end. **_

XD XD! Did I get you going? Bet you thought I was going to continue, but I just cut it off right there! Mua ha ha. All ph34r my awesome awful writing-ness!

This may or may not be continued. Mainly I started to get bored. I bet y'all did too. I know it's not the most interesting read. But it kept me occupied for a bit.

Later allz. ;)


	2. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Rem, her character, her desc, or anything about her. I do however own Hatori (**Yes, my little Tori, you are mine, MINE! And I shall do as I please with you- Now DANCE my little hot bishie man- DANCE!) _Hatori: -looks up at me ranting like a madwoman and scoffs. "Yeah, like I'm dancing for you. Go F--- a toaster, you evile creator sadistic bitch." Me: _Le-gasp! How dare you! And since when do you swear! _Hatori: -looks bored- "Yep. I dare. -.- And since you made my life a fricken living hell." Me: _We'll discuss this later! D o.o technical difficulties folks. Pay no attention. **I also own the story these characters go to, Along with Laur. So nya nya. Can't sue myself. **_

_**I am in no way associated with, nor do I have anything against, or in anyway mean to insult or degrade Oprah with my awful impression/imitation of her.**(I've never actually seen a whole one of her shows... so I don't really know how she talks or acts...) **:) Please enjoy.**_ **_(And I apologize for any out of characterness.)_**

**Interview with Rem. Part two of Interview with Hatori. **

**_Dedicated to: _Laur. For it was at her request that I wrote this. And who helped me write parts of this (like most of Rem's responses w ) May it live up to your expectations and not disappoint. **

Lights!

Camera!

Action! 

**And it's OPRAH! **

_Huge Studio audience goes WILD! Oprah walks out on stage and greets the cameras. _

"Helllooo Everybody!" _Audience CHEER's and SCREEEEAAAMMSSS like monkeys on crack. Oprah laughs. _"Alright, alright. You'll never guess who we've got on the show today!" -goes into classic talk show host introduction mode- "She's been called one of _THE_ HOT-EST, kindest, most powerful women that ever walked this earth. She's been an Empress, a wife, and a mother of eleven and SOMEHOW managed to keep that wonderful slim shape of hers and one Satisfied husband through it all - ladies and gentlemen- we've got- REEEEESHA DUCLAIR On. OUR. SHOW. TO-DAY. !"

_Audience ERUPTS with CHEERING, Whoops, yells and screams... a couple people faint._

_Oprah holds up a hand._ "But First... I have to give out the treat we got everyone in today's audience... AND- let you all in on a little secret that our Special guest know's _nothing_ about. "

_Audience tenses in anticipation..._

"Right after THIS commercial break." Oprah announces, breaking the tension into moans and growls about it being 'right at a good part too'.

**5 minute** ** Commercial Break **

"Helooo! And We're Ba-ack!" Oprah screeched in a gleeful singsong voice. "Before the commercial break I promised YOU, the Audience a treat. And DO I have a treat!" Oprah glanced back stage and waved her hand high in the air. "Bring 'um out girlz!"

A long string of beautiful super-model type women filed out onto the stage, each one leading a bishie.

"BISHIE'S And FF game's for EVERYONE IN TODAY'S AUDII-EENCE!" Oprah announced with her trademark 'gurrl yell'

_All females in the audience SHRIEK and either faint, Jump up and down doing a happy dance or SCREAMM and tear at their hair beside themselves. _

After the bishies and video games were distributed and the women calmed down, Oprah announced her second surprise. "Earlier I told you." She addressed the audience and the camera's "That I had arranged a special surprise for today's guest. Well no-ow it's time to find out what that surpise is!"

The huge movie theater like view screens on the stage and on the walls turned on. Oprah commented and explained the scene as it unfolded on screen; the picture showing a short trek back stage to a closed, heavy wood door. "Earlier this week I arranged for the goddess Kar to bring back, drug and drag Hatori Ame, Resha's late husband, here, to My show! After a bit of a struggle, we managed to incarcerate him in THIS," She indicated the door that led to a room (of course), "Room. Just hours before the show started. We haven't told Resha yet. We'll bring him out to be re-united with his wife after the interview."

The door opened to reveal a bound, gagged and VERY pissed off looking Hatori. He was on the floor and someone had placed a viewing screen in front of him so he could see and hear the show. The heavy chains that bound him looked unbreakable, yet they shook violently as Hatori spotted the camera man spying in on him. Hatori's expression clearly read: -You had better f------- Release me before I f------ blow this place to smithereens. I give you this one warning. Heed it not and you WILL be Dead. And I can GUARANTEE your passing will be a _painful_ one-

Suddenly a girl with purple and green streaked hair bounced cheerfully into view. " Oh- don't mind him." she chirped, waving a hand up and down rapidly in a perfect -everything's fine here -_sweat drop_ really- anime hand gesture. "Here, give ME the camera and run along now. Don't worry I'll make sure you get the footage you need. Now go please. Go NOW!" She urged, snatching the camera from the man and slamming the door in his face. The picture on the screen cut off, but not before the techni-colored hair girl hurriedly muttered something about making sure she'd get all the important footage... after drugging him and getting him under control again.

Oprah blinked once in surprise as the screen went black. The building shook and a shout was heard before all went calm again. "O-kayyyy..." she took but a brief moment to regain her footing so to speak. "Alright. Well, we'll be right back with Miss Resha Duclair, after these messeges." -Charming Oprah smile-

**20 Minute Commercial Break **

"Aaannd... We're Ba-ack!" Oprah was looking much better now, not so pale as she had been after the building shook before the commercial break. It was obvious she'd had a make-up touch up during the break. "I'm sure you've ALL been waiting. Sooo let's bring her out!"

Kar's idea of the theme song for 'Ratai no Ha' came on loud over the surround sound studio speaker system. It was a sparkling lovely tune that sounded almost celestial. With the perfect harmony of tenor and soprano voice's combined with a few of the lesser heard instruments, making an unearthly pleasing to the ear sort of sound.

The camera's changed angles to look at the stage exit/entrance. Green, yellow and blue spotlights focused on that exit/entrance.

For a long moment nothing happened. . . Then, A stunningly beautiful young woman with a slim, curvy figure, and long silky, mahogany brown hair stumbled onto the stage looking stricken. Her rich emerald green eye's were wide, innocent looking and filled with momentary confusion. Her lush, full lips moved and the microphone attached to her simple silver and blue colored top picked up the slightest utterance of a word: "Haa–... Hatori?"

"I... thought..." she said before shaking her head. "No, I guess not. He's dead, why would he be here... but I could have sworn I felt him."

It was just as she uttered that whisper of a thought that the audience spotted her and applause and cheering broke loose, loud and hard and fast. The noise was deafening.

Oprah got up and greeted the young woman with a bear hug and a "Girl-friend! It's so wonderful to have you here Girl-friend, how you been!"

For a second it seemed the girl was so overwhelmed and startled she might faint or race off the stage. . . but then she seemed to compose herself. She smiled, and the whole room lit up. "Oprah! " she greeted, " It's great to be here."

Oprah presented the girl to the camera's and the Audience, "Ladies and Gentlemen- MISS RESHA DUCALIR!" she squealed. The audience once again broke into loud cheers and screams.

Resha smiled again and shook her head. "Please, call me Rem. :) "

Oprah looked up at the main camera, pulled Rem close and gave her a squeeze. "We'll be right back to talk to this gentle mannered superpower and icon for women's achievements in just a moment- so stay tuuu–nnneedd!"

**15 Minute Commercial Break **

Camera's do a sweep of the studio as the commercial break ends and comes back to the show. Audience members jump and wave to the camera's as they swoop by. After a quick survey, the camera's view comes to rest on the center stage where Oprah's interview nook is. Rem is sitting in one of the large plush white chairs across from Oprah who is in her special giant lounge chair. A single coffee table with magazines, fruit and two coffee cups is between them and a huge view screen behind them.

Oprah looks up at the main camera, little blue note cards in hand and smiles. "Alright, and I am BACK _with_ 'Rem' -as she's asked me to call her- Duclair for her first EVAR interview! Where I am going to get to ask _her_ all the_ intimate_ questions I KNOW you've all just been _bur-ning_ to hear the answers to!"

Rem just sat there in her chair, looking relaxed, natural in her own skin and not at all the nervous wreck she felt inside.

_IN the back room: _Hatori was forced to watch as Kar (the techni-colored hair girl) taped his every move and facial expression. Hatori: -.- _I am soooo going to kill somebody... hey look- there's Rem._

"Are you all ready for this?" Asked Oprah, working the audience. The audience SCREAMED their readiness and shouted for the Oprah to get on with it. "Alright- we'll start with the easy stuff and work our way up to the REAL mouth-watering questions."

Rem snuggled into her chair and made herself comfortable before saying: " ask away."

Oprah leaned forward just a smidgen, showing how eager she was to begin questioning. She smiled and looked at the main camera, her hands clasped together like a conspirator, then looked back at Rem. "As we all know, you've been married 3 times and have had 4 husbands- widowed twice and you're only 45 years old! Tell us! What _is_ your secret to staying so young looking? I swear girl, you don't look a day over 17!"

"Well... I'm immortal...so... I'm eternally youthful." answered Rem simply, with a shrug.

"Eternally youthful. Lucky b----." -charming Oprah smile.- "Tell us a bit about all the men in your life- preferably your husbands, (and lovers)- which one was best in the sack?"

Rem took a deep breath as she formed her answer in her mind, she let it out slowly. ". . . There was Alluvienne. He was my best friend growing up. . . . he was like a brother to me. But I guess he didn't think of me like a sister. He tried to marry me against my will. When I broke our engagement he tried to... force me into bed with him." Rem smiled then, "Hatori got me out of that one." Rem was quiet for a moment. "But Alluvienne really isn't that bad- he even comes and visits sometimes, and he's Jin's -my son's wife- trainer."

"Somehow I get the feeling you're leaving out some detail's girl." said Oprah. "He goes from brother, to attempted rape, to family friend?"

Rem gave a polite smile. "There were a lot of things that were going on during that time. He was really just trying to look out for me, I was in a vulnerable position, and he just got the wrong signals."

"Mm-hmm... alriight... go on." Oprah said in that 'I still think you're leaving something out, but okayyy' tone.

"Well... shortly after that little incident with Alluvienne, Hatori proposed to me and we got married." Rem perked a bit, then drooped her ears. "But... it didn't last long, Hatori was trapped in another dimension shortly after I birthed our first litter." TT "I didn't know he was trapped I thought..." Rem paused sadly as the memories and feelings of what happened flooded back to her. Without explaining she just skipped ahead, unwilling to say it out loud.. ". . . And then Blair tricked me into marrying him. I was a wreck. It wasn't a happy marriage, based on lies. It only lasted a few years. Hatori managed to get back to us, he straitened things out. We ran Blair out as soon as I found out the truth." Rem left out the finer details.

"You going to flesh this story out for us girl? It sounds like quite the drama, and you're leaving us all hanging!" Oprah tried to get Rem to explain a bit.

Rem only shook her head. "I'm sorry... but I think some details are best kept private. There were a lot of things going on then and I don't want to re-open old wounds."

Oprah reluctantly let it drop. "You said Hatori helped you out of that one with Alluvienne- and apparently whatever the mess was with Blair- wasn't Hatori your second husband? I think I'm missing a piece of the puzzle here. What happened to husband number one?"

"He was. Tocar was my first husband. We weren't married very long though- he died less than a year into our marriage.. . ."

Oprah gave a puzzled look. "Isn't he the father of your youngest?"

Rem nodded solemnly. "It's ..." Rem was unwilling to continue. Oprah gave her one of those 'come on, come on- painful nitty gritty personal details now please!' look. "His sister was in hell and it was a deal with the devil. He came back from the dead and raped me to get her out." Rem was getting that 'please don't make me continue with the details of that. I don't want to remember' look on her face.

In the backroom: Hatori growled. _Lay off lady. She doesn't like what you're asking her. _He was so drugged up right now, his thoughts were a little off what he'd normally be thinking._ Rape is painful, degrading, horrible- don't you dare make her remember or I'll be forced to rip your throat out! _Of course, Hatori had forgotten he was bound and drugged and locked in a room with guards and was basically harmless at the moment.

Luckily it was time for another commercial break so neither Hatori, Rem, or the unwitting Oprah had to worry about the direction of the current line of questioning.

**10 Minute Commercial Break**

"And We're back!" Oprah announced as she went directly into a quick recap. "Before the break we were talking to Ex-empress 'Rem' Duclair about the men in her life. She's been married 3 times, had four husbands, is the mother of eleven, her youngest the product of a brutal rape and she's only 45 years old." Oprah took a deep breath and looked at Rem. "Wow." she exclaimed. "That's all I can say right now- Wow. I've interviewed a lot of people with interesting stories. But I must say- _your_ life story is one of_ the_ most amazing and interesting that I _have_ ever _heard!"_

Rem smiled shyly and nodded. "I get that a lot."

"So, what's it like? I mean, being a mother of eleven, being an ex-empress, married currently to one of the hottest guys out there,- being you in general. Give us a peek into the inner you." Oprah folded her hands together over on of her knee's.

Rem laughed lightly. "In a word? Hectic."

"Define 'hectic'."

"The people I ruled- my people, that I loved and cared for, turned and usurped me for no other reason than what was in my blood. My children are too powerful for their own good, if I'm not careful to watch them they'll blow our house up out of boredom! My eldest son is married to a Dark that has drives him crazy (even though it's obvious she loves Seph more than life itself), my other two elder sons take after their grandfather, my only daughter is somewhat removed from the family because she is currently feuding with one of her brothers, My youngest child -Kuro- and the eldest of my second litter -Yazoo- are currently in an all out child war over my daughter in-law Jin who is oblivious to their affections, and oh yeah, I'm the reincarnation of a mass murderess. THAT'S how you define Hectic."

Oprah stared wide eyed, "I'd certainly define that as hectic."

Rem nodded once vigorously and drew her knees to her chest waiting for the next question.

"Give us a little more depth about your family. Tell us about your pregnancies, raising your kit's. What's it like to rule an empire?"

Rem thought for a moment then answered. "Births: The only time I wanted to wring Hatori's neck.

Raising: Difficult to say the least, my first litter was chaotic in their wanton destruction. My second litter works together.

Ruling the empire: Luckily I had Hatori by my side, otherwise I would have been overwhelmed. In truth I was just a figurehead, Hatori ran the empire."

IN the backroom: Hatori stared dully at the screen, the drugs in his system making it hard for him to think or move. He managed a couple meager thoughts. _Come on Rem, that's not true. You're the one that created all the policies, enforced the laws, looked after the people, ran everything smoothly. I just helped out with the paperwork and a couple treaties. _

"Hatori seem's to do a lot for you and seems to be the main man in your life." commented Oprah.

Rem smiled. "Mm-hmm... the only man. He's the only one I care for."

"Alright. Well we have some pictures here, a couple you have let us borrow for the show. Lets put some faces to the character's in your life!"

The large view screen behind the interview nook lit up and showed a large blown up picture of a man with grey hair and grey eyes.

"This first on is... Rem?" Oprah glanced at Rem queuing her to take it away.

"That's Blair. My 3rd husband." Rem informed the audience, Oprah and the cameras.

"Tell us a little about him- give us all the juicy details." Said Oprah.

"Not much to tell. He's silly when it comes to the world, naive. He helped me once, but then turned on me by doing what he did to Hatori and tricking me into marrying him. I think he means well... just doesn't know how to go about doings things."

"What's he like in bed?" Prodded Oprah.

"Too eager." Rem answered too quickly. "Unskilled."

The picture changed to a tall man with a mane of hair and black eyes. "Alluvienne." identified Rem. "He was my friend. He trains Jin- my eldest son's wife." she explained.

The next picture came up. This one was of a man with bright red hair and black tattoos on his muscular chest.

"That's Cainin. My 4th husband." Said Rem.

"Cainin... now as I understand it- you two were never married and he entered the picture while you were still with Hatori. How is that possible?"

Rem sighed. "It's a long story... summed up? Spell gone wrong. He's Hatori's other half... in a way."

"Okayyy... Tell us a little about him." Oprah said, clearly confused.

"He's only about one thing. One track mind. One word to describe him would be: KINKY." Rem rolled her eyes.

The next picture to come up showed a handsome man with black hair, icy blue eyes, and a six pack, sprawled out on a bed in just his boxers-which were also black-. _(To Laur: XD MUA HA HA! T3h infamous ebil cell phone piccie!)_

IN the back room: Hatori paled. 00 _She. Did. Not. Please tell me she didn't. AKITO (note: all those not familiar with **Akito. At the disco's **Sohman religion; you say Akito instead of god. )I HATE CELL PHONES! I am sooo going to get her for this. -._- Hatori was miffed with what he saw on the screen.

All the women in the audience: -_clap and cheer_- -_swoon_-_ -stare- -one or two whistle-_

"Whew!" Oprah exclaimed. "And just who is this one?"

Rem smiled happily. "That's Hatori. my husband."

Oprah oogled him openly. "And you've been married to him for how long?"

"Over 30 years." Rem beamed.

"Tell us about him." insisted Oprah.

IN the backroom: "No. Really. Please don't." Said Hatori the little tv screen in front of him lividly. "Take the picture down now. Dammit."

Rem looked down at her hands and twisted her wedding ring on her finger. "He's everything I'm not. Cruel, ruthless, calculating, logical..." She started to drift " ...tall...dark...gorgeous...e.e perfect..."

Oprah gave a quick laugh. "Oh come, there have to be a couple flaws or quirks in him."

Rem nodded with a smile. "He's so serious and stubborn. Always trying to solve everything himself."

IN the backroom: "I do not." Hatori said to the screen. "I've gotten a LOT better at accepting help from you when I get in a bind." and of course with Hatori, there were a lot of binds. He was a natural trouble maker.

"It's obvious you're infatuated with him. And who wouldn't be?" Oprah looked at the audience. "I mean look at him! But what was the main attraction? How did you know he was the one?"

Rem got a dreamy look on her face."His eyes...they were such a pure blue I felt like was drowning...e.e.."-_snaps out of it- "_ Oh we liked to aggravate each other, but I was so naïve back then." Rem paused then added "I would always (ands still do) get butterflies in my stomach when he's around, I would find myself staring at him with a smile on my face and when ever he caught me, my face flamed in a blush."

IN the backroom: Hatori was feeling drowsy. Kar had just hit him up again with more drugs. _She still blushes... she's cute when she blushes..._ he thought, barely able to keep his eyes open and look at the screen.

Something of a smirk crossed Oprah's face. "Is he good in bed?"

Rem only gave a naughty grin and started purring loudly... her eyes glazed over.

Oprah glanced at the cameras. The audience 'oooh'ed in that 'knowing_ ;D -wink- wink- _way.'

" How long did you two know each other before you decided to marry? How did he propose?"

Rem pulled herself from herself from her daydreams. "Hm? Oh, we knew each other a few months before he held up a small box to me..." Rem smiled dreamily. "He opened it and said with no emotion **'Be my wife?**' and I jumped him "

IN the backroom: _I didn't say that- I said 'When we get back to you wanna get married.' _Hatori though to the screen.

"Really...o.o. Did you have a big wedding- I mean like an all out mega wedding?" asked Oprah. "With all the trimmings?"

Rem shook her head. "No... it was just a little ceremony. Neither of us really wanted anything really big. I mean, we had a lot of guests, but that's only because I invited my whole family-and I have a LARGE family. Hatori didn't even invite anyone, but his old room mate Kisa came." Rem smirked. "She met her now husband at that wedding. ;D"

"What was the ceremony like?"

" My father interrupted it for a bit, approved of Hatori, and then before the Priest could finish announcing us as man and wife, Hatori pinned me to the altar :3 w" Rem did the 'KAWAII!' smile.

" Whew! He sounds like a passionate dramatic sort of person. Are we going to get any _juicy _wedding night details? Oprah had a pervy grin on her face.

Rem blushed. "I'm not saying anything...just that he was very...amorous /...and very...large W "

Some members of the audience giggled, other chuckled a few gave those knowing 'ooh's again.

"Do you two ever fight? I mean, idyllic as your pairing sounds, every couple has their problems."

"Well...Hatori has these issues with me drinking blood and energy from other men -.-"

"So you only fight about food? What about other women. We've all seen the

picture.. He's a looker. As are you- what about other men?"

Rem growled and tensed in her seat. "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I don't like other women touching him...I just hate how jealous I get!"

"Can't blame you there. Ever been tempted yourself? What about close calls-

on either side?"

" No. I love my husband utterly, he's my other half." Rem purred sweetly, then stopped. "And for his sake he better hope not! D "

"Ha ha. He better look out then. Alright. Well we have to go to another commercial break, but as soon as we get back I have couple special guests to bring on with Rem." Said Oprah, smiling as the camera's cut to go to paid messages.

**10 Minute Commercial Break**

"HI! And we're back!" Oprah greeted the cameras and the audience cheered. "Before the break I told you all I got a couple special guests to bring out for Rem... well, It's time to bring them out." Oprah turned to look at Rem who was sitting in her chair looking quite content. "Rem, we flew out your family to come on the show with you!" Oprah announced. And of course this was a surprise to the audience as well, as Oprah had only mentioned Hatori... who didn't seem likely to be a making an appearance any time soon.

Rem's eyes widened with surprise and disbelief, she perked in her seat. "Really! 0.0"

"Reeeallly..." Oprah said as she motioned for them to come on out.

Seven little kits/kids raced out onto the stage first. All male. All **uber **cute. Thee had silver colored hair with eyes so cold on faces so young it was adorable in a _'chills down your spine'_ kind of way. Two had black hair, and the last was brown haired.

They greeted their mother as she leapt up and glomped them all. Excited chatter too fast and low to made our by the microphones followed before Rem, beaming, shook her head looked up... to be greeted by the visage of a tall silver haired male with a black haired beauty on his arm. "Mother." he greeted looking like stone his expression was so serious. It only lasted a moment though, his face broke out into a child-like happy smile as Rem hugged him. "Seph! Jin!" Rem sounded so happy. She embraced them both before being pulled off and french kissed passionately by a familiar redhead with black tattoos on his arms and chest.

"0.0 Mmph!" Rem's eyes were wide with surprise as she tried to break from the kiss and the randy male's embrace. A loud 'Oooohhh!' and a whoop went up from the audience followed by cheering and giggles. "Cainin!" She pushed him off her and scolded. "What _are_ you doing!"

"Greeting you ;D" the Red haired make replied in a low _'ooh, I want you babe'_ voice.

Rem, the dark haired beauty Jin on Seph's arm, and Seph all rolled their eyes.

Cainin reached for Rem again but Rem dodged him, leaping back into her chair.

One of Rem's children seemed drawn to the audience of cooing, screaming women... he migrated towards them to be swallowed up by the throng.

His brothers all groaned and dove in after him... only to be swallowed up themselves. The original little one- the trouble maker it seemed - crept out of the mass of squealing, cooing women and raced over the Jin with a wide '_mua ha ha- I WIN! Suckers_' grin on his face. Jin smiled as she saw him and picked him up. "Hey Kurokuro! who's my little guy?"

Kuro preened and cooed.

... One of the kits... one with silver hair happened to glance Jin with Kuro before getting sucked back into the screaming thrall of women. He battled his way out again... and, with an angry glare and a growl... TACKLED his brother- knocking him from Jin's arms to the floor.

"Yazoo!" Jin scolded in vain as the two wrestled each other on the floor, growling viciously. Seph seemed annoyed. He pulled at Jin. "We've made our visit now let's leave this place."

"Seph... Relax. Geez. -.-" Jin resisted. "We only just got here after all."

Seph pulled her closer to him and jittered anxiously, casting haughty angry glares at the audience.

Jin sighed. "Seph, what ARE you doing?"

"All the males in the audience are ogling you and I don't like it." Seph hissed.

Jin rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah... I see them Seph, all TWO of them and they're both looking at Rem. Akito, you're so insecure."

Just then there was an explosion to the left of the stage. Everyone jumped and looked to see what the cause was... It was Yazoo... trying to assassinate his brother. The other brothers (currently in the crowd of women) took this opportunity to escape while all the women gaped at the two quarreling siblings on stage.

Rem dodged Cainin who was currently trying to jump her. "Jin! Discipline my kids for me please- I can't right now." She called as Cainin PINNED her to a chair. "Off Cainin!"

Cainin only licked her cheek. ";D" he winked saucily at her.

"Security!" Rem called, desperate to get him off her.

Two mischievous bishie males, looking about Seph's age, skipped on stage wearing black 'security' t-shirts and tight jeans. They grinned as they took hold of Cainin and hauled him forcefully up off Rem. "Hey mom. D" greeted one. "Check it out!" he motioned to the words printed on the back of his T with a thumb. "We just found these _just lying _around."

The two started to haul Cainin off stage, grinning at their surprised looking mother. "Don't worry we'll be back." he winked with a toothy smile, assuring her.

Sure enough, as soon they'd gotten rid of Cainin, they were back. And back with tricks and horseplay. They pulled off their black security T's to give the women in the audience some nice fanservice.

Poor Oprah. She'd lost control of her show. . . at least she was getting some quality bishie fanservice. Twas always a plus. She was forced to watch on helplessly as the two hot young men worked the crowd, racing back and forth across the stage and getting all the women to cheer by doing back hand springs and flips, then running to the edge of the stage and touching the hands of the excited screaming women. The two even picked out a few lucky gal's to kiss.

At the same time, farther back on the stage and to the left. . . Jin was calming the feuding siblings, promising them cuddles and kisses if they'd only behave. Telling them how she didn't have favorites as her husband stood behind her glaring. The other five little ones were watching on.

Rem was catching her breath from Cainin's rather ... energetic... randy greeting.

Jin called a courteous farewell as she lead the seven kits and one jealous looking husband off stage. This left Oprah, Rem, and the two mischievous bishie brothers on stage.

A minute or so later Seph came back on stage though, and dragged his flirtatious brothers out the back exit.

Oprah took a long deep drag from a flask she had hidden under her special interviewing lounge chair, looked up at the camera's, smiled the beginning of a drunk smile and announced another commercial break.

**15 Minute Commercial Break**

The camera's brought the break to an end by showing some shots of the street outside. Which... coincidentally, showed Rem's family chaos spilling out onto the black top. Yazoo and Kuro seemed to be fighting over who would get to sit on Jin's lap in the cab Seph was hailing. The five other kits were all roughhousing amongst each other, blowing up trash cans and climbing buildings. Seph's two older bishie brothers were playing tricks on the shopkeepers across the way and hitting on women, while Cainin tried to get back to Rem, but couldn't get past the heightened security Oprah had ordered during the commercial break. .

The cameras cut the scene off by going inside and doing another quick sweep of the studio and live audience before finally going back to the stage, which was now quite calm and back to normal. Oprah was starting to look a little worn though. Rem was as well... sitting in her chair, her face plain -no smiling, not frowning- her eyes on the floor. She looked. ... lonely.

"Alright. So... we're here with Miss Rem Duclair, and it's nearing the end of the show, so only a few more questions before we start to wrap things up." Said Oprah without as much energy as she had as the start of the show. She looked at Rem. "One thing that's been on my mind for a while- you keep talking about your husband Hatori as if he were still around, but it was my understanding that he died a year ago. What's the scoop?"

Rem looked up at Oprah quickly as if surprised someone would ask her such a question. Surprise quickly turned to sadness as her eyes filled with a sorrow she'd been hiding the whole show. She nodded slowly. "...He has." she whispered. "He died and left me."

IN the backroom: Hatori had just woken from his drug induced nap, right in time to see Rem on the brink of tears. _What's wrong Rem? Don't cry... tears don't suit you._ He thought to himself, not realizing he was seeing her on the screen and not in front of him, or that no words were coming out of his mouth.

The audience showed their sympathy by aww-ing.

"I know it's a painful subject to bring up, but- how did he die?" Oprah asked.

"... Faerie's." Was all Rem would utter in response, and there was a clear note of bitter hatred in her soft voice.

Oprah took the hint and let the subject drop. "It's about time to wrap things up. Rem, it was great having you here on the show today- PLEASE be sure to come back again. I haven't had such an... active interview in a while, I enjoyed it."

Rem smiled and got up to give Oprah a hug. "Thank you for inviting me Oprah. I had a wonderful time."

"You'll stay for our musical guest won't you?" Oprah insisted more than asked.

Rem nodded. "Of course."

Oprah smiled and her pep returned to her as she announced who it was going to be. "Alright. Our next guest has never sold any records, has never performed on stage save once at a private wedding. He's cold, reclusive and hot... please welcome today's musical guest... I'm sure it will come as a surprise to you all, especially himself as we haven't told him yet, and Rem as it's someone she knows..."

Rem perked. "?" So did the audience. "?"

IN the backroom: _Rem knows a musician?_ Hatori thought watching the screen.

Kar smirked. She got up and crossed the room to where Hatori was bound. "Oh Hattypoo..." There was a glint her eyes and a needle in her hand... Hatori looked up at her and gulped. "Get ready to sing." said Kar.

**Pause**

Oprah stood and motioned to the right of the stage where a microphone and electric guitar were set up. "Ladies and gentlemen... HATORI AME-DUCLAIR!"

Rem's eyes widened and she drew her breath in sharp. _Hatori!_ 0.0

A tall disheveled man stumbled onto the stage. He was wearing a white collared shirt with the top buttons undone, black jeans and a long black leather trench coat that seemed alive itself the way it writhed and swirled around him. Altogether he was quite the sight. He looked up at the main camera, it looked almost like a practiced move with the angle of his head to the camera. His piercing grey eyes however told a different story, there was slight confusion and disoriented surprise in those eyes.

Rem stared at the man with unbelieving shock. "Haa... haaa?"

The audience held it's breath.

Kar came entered the stage. She took the electric guitar off it's stand and pressed it into Hatori's hands.

Hatori slipped the strap over his head and around his shoulder absentmindedly. He seemed more interested in figuring out the function of the cameras and he looked a bit unsteady on his legs though he managed to stay upright.

"Play a set for us." Kar said to the man. "Play one for me..." She whispered in his ear seductively, running a finger down his arm.

Rem tensed... and one could have sworn she emitted a low warning growl at Kar. But she didn't move from her seat.

Hatori brushed Kar off with the same uncaring absentmindedness and kept his eyes on the camera as he strummed a chord to warm up.

. . . There was a pause as the notes reverberated, twanged and died in the air as the guitar string's vibrations slowed.

Everything in the studio was still as death and holding it's breath to see what come next.

For a long minute nothing happened.

Hatori just stood there, holding the guitar, looking at the floor as if contemplating something... or perhaps just falling asleep on his feet. It was hard to tell with him.

Rem just sat there staring with the rest of the audience.

And Oprah just sipped liquid from her coffee mug quietly, observing all those around her, mainly Rem's reaction.

Then... Hatori ripped his instrument into loud life as he stuck up a hard rock tempo. The song that followed had a dark melody and a harsh beat. His voice was haunting, challenging and black. And he sang:

_ There is a longing in my heart. I know where it comes from. I know_

_ what to do._

_ It's time for me to go back I know._

_ I had hoped there'd be away to choose. But no. You can't sit on the_

_ fence. You can have your cake and eat it too. But You have to choose_

_ between vanilla and chocolate in a world where the marble is more_

_ black than white._

_ Don't expect this to make sense. Why would it?_

_ Now that no matter how hard I try, I will never be fulfilled by_

_ these worldly things. I tried. Those who haven't a clue - know how_

_ that turned out._

_ Depression._

_ It's not an easy road to choose and trek. But it's the one I've_

_ decided to stick to. I know pretty well where it leads. Doesn't take_

_ away the fear._

_ And it's time. I can't avoid it anymore. The call is too strong._

_ The pull is too hard. I can't deny it. Can't turn my back on it._

_ Not when I want so bad to answer._

_ A kiss. Put all my dreams of simple life aside. I will not have the_

_ tradition. I won't be allowed. It might have been nice. I don't want_

_ it. Though I can wonder if it would have been me._

_ I can't live in that world. You feel like you're drowning when ya_

_ walk in it. Yet.. know that old familiar longing when you walk_

_ beside it... know you will never be allowed in._

_ Maybe a taste... just a taste... but never more than that._

_ I know I'm going to trip. Fall. Stumble. Think how many times. Know_

_ I'm going to want to give up. Scream, cry, pound the earth with my_

_ fists and turn back. I'll think too hard, too much. It's time to_

_ take the plunge._

_ I want to get my feet wet._

_ I am... Sore_

_ The Silver Kiss_

_ Sometimes I think it would so easy to just let go and fade away..._

_ To just... Stop trying to keep up._

_ Stop fighting..._

_ And just let it all go..._

_ I don't think anyone would notice. I would just... fade... away . . ._

_ I. To give myself purpose._

_ But, It takes so much effort._

_ would anyone care if I did it or not._

_ Hell_

_ How easy it would be to give it up, let it go, let it slide. If I_

_ did not log on, didn't bother to read all, reply._

_ A real load off. save me so much trouble. I'd just stop. not_

_ bother. And fade into the background._

_ It's all above my head . I don't fit. I don't mind. Not at all._

_ There are other things I should be on. But naturally... I don't._

_ . I look in the mirror and my eyes are dark._

_ Eyes tell all. Mine are glassed over, black. They hold few_

_ emotions. Some light, Some blue. not much._

_ Careless creature._

_ Who's head is always in the clouds, with no care for matters of_

_ reality._

_ A daydreamer, a night weaver. A wall walker._

_ Humans are a cruel lot. I am no different. I think I was younger_

_ when I fought the human in me. But in the end it's undeniable. You_

_ are what you are. I've come to accept. In some, embrace my_

_ humanity._

_ Let it end._

_let it fade._

_ Let it go..._

_ There is no human left._

The last deep, growling notes faded away, leaving the studio in silence. And Hatori was standing there in the midst of it, still and motionless as he had been before he'd played the song.

The audience SCREAMED their approval and gave him a standing ovation. The cheers were so loud the studio shook.

Rem: 0/0 Rem was blushing like mad, staring at her husband. _Sooo hawt!_

Hatori was still through it all, not acknowledging. When the cheering died down Hatori turned his gaze to Oprah and said: "And you were wrong. I've played 5 times publicly, on stage, before this." He cocked his head. "You're fact checker didn't do their research. You should fire them." As he said the last word a fire ignited on stage nearest to Kar.

Kar yelped and leapt back. "Hey! I brought you back - show some respect! D"

Hatori did nothing but ignore her and set the rest of the stage on fire. A bottle of premium vodka appeared in his hand. _The good stuff :) _he thought opening it up.

Rem, who had been watching the whole time, and who had started to purr after Hatori had started playing was now thinking. _Mmm! C'mere sexy!_

Hatori didn't go to Rem though... in fact, he didn't even seem to notice her. He went to the edge of the stage and pulled an audience member up from the screaming mass onto the stage with him. The woman nearly fainted .

Rem: 0.0!

Hatori took the woman's arm and bit it with his vampire's fangs. Both Rem and the woman gasped with surprise. Hatori removed his jaws from the bite and tilted the woman's arm over the vodka bottle, dripping some of her blood into it. When he had enough of what he wanted, Hatori licked the woman's arm, healing her. He let her go, she staggered off in a daze.

Rem pouted, her beloved hadn't even acknowledged her presence. He'd ignored her completely- and after she'd mourned him, missed him so much!

Hatori took a swig of his blood and vodka cocktail as the stage went up in flames and the camera crew did it's best to put it out. Chaos was all around him, and yet he looked quite content.

Oprah had leapt up tp encourage the audience to evacuate the studio.

And. . . all the viewers at home were getting the full show. For the Camera men had left their cameras on as they went to fight the growing blaze.

Rem meanwhile, couldn't take it anymore. He was hot, she'd missed him, her love was back and he was drinking, which she didn't approve of... and on top of all that, he was ignoring her. Rem. . . snapped.

She leapt on her husband, kissing him soundly the lips and knocking the bottle of vodka from his hands.

Hatori was startled at first, then the drug induced blinders put on him by Kar fell away at Rem's kiss. Hatori wrapped his arms around Rem and deepened her kiss.

Rem blushed and purred. She wrapped her arms about his neck and continued the kiss. "PURRR!"

Aanndd... so began an intense make-out session on live television with the studio going up in flames and collapsing around them.

**-------------------------------------------------------Epilogue---------------------------------------------------**

After the show Oprah's ratings SKYROCKETED. Even so, Oprah retired, claiming she needed a break from interviewing or trying to do any reuniting of members of 'crazy-ass' wacko families.

Rem was offered the job as host for the show, though she declined saying she didn't want to be in the public eye, and only wanted to spend time with her family. (Mainly her recently resurrected husband.)

Hatori was offered a record deal and his own show on MTV (because of his seeming lack of self-sensory, excessive violence, psychotic episodes and pyrotechnic displays.) Hatori however told them kindly that he wasn't interested by telling them all to F— off!

_**The End:)**_


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